


A Saucy Day

by MenagerieOfDarkness



Category: Neil Breen - Fandom
Genre: Food Kink, Food Sex, Gross, Masturbation, Not Beta Read, Other, Self-Indulgent, Sorry Not Sorry, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Wet & Messy, baffalo sauce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:33:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MenagerieOfDarkness/pseuds/MenagerieOfDarkness
Summary: Neil Breen gets lost in the sauce.
Relationships: Neil Breen/Buffalo Sauce
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	A Saucy Day

It was a cool Thursday night, an inconspicuous, innocent night by anyone else’s account, a night when most expected to close their eyes under the full moon and awake the next morning with a raging stiffy or some wet sheets. 

But Neil, he wasn’t ready to go to sleep just yet.

Neil Breen found himself awake at 1am, hungry, eyes glazed over in want, want for something juicy and succulent in his ready mouth. A thin line of drool escaped his chapped lips, his worm-like tongue lapping it away like a dog ready for a nice meaty bone. But, Neil had long since sworn off pleasure by another, ever since he realized that all of his much-younger love interests died by the third act. No, this hunger was only for him, a lust for something sculpted by his own hands. And this sculpture, this god-tier piece of marble and gold leaf, was a container of buffalo wings.

Neil Breen clutched the first wing between his fingers like a beaver about to drill through a meaty chunk of wood. The first bite exploded into his mouth in an ooze of spicy tang and chicken grease. Neil let out a low moan as the juices ran down his throat, and he felt his cock grow just a little bit bigger. But, since it already swung low in his skinny jeans, it couldn’t grow much larger without breaking the laws of physics. 

He had inflated it enough to make it so.

The next bite had his lips engulf the entirety of the wing, swallowing the bone hole like a hard, ivory cock. The heat burned his throat, warmed his chest to an uncomfortable degree, but he kept going, needing that heat to go further down south.

The buffalo sauce stained his hands the color of ruby peppers, fumes making his eyes water as he swallowed the next wing whole, jaw unhinging to make room. He was feeling it now, the smoky flames stroking his penis like a bad case of chlamydia.

A sauce-covered finger entered his mouth next, and Neil lapped the red away, suckling it like he did his lover’s nipples with his inhuman titty-pleasing abilities. He was Neil Breen after all. But, as he felt his own warmth rush over his finger with the force of the Pacific Ocean, Neil realized perhaps he could sustain himself off of his own pleasure.

The third wing vanished without Neil’s notice, his saucy hands slowly rubbing his face, buffalo sauce burning his cheeks, his sensitive eyes. He was starting to grow curious, unsure of how his sensitive, overly-inflated cock would feel coated in that sauce like a long chicken leg, bulbous and ready for insertion. 

He got his answer soon enough. It burned as his pointer finger pushed buffalo sauce into his slit, macerating his dick in enough juice to drown several small mammals. Neil Breen began to tear up in what he was thought was pain, expected to be agony beyond his wildest dreams, but all he felt was pleasure, the warmth of buffalo sauce massaging his balls, ready to add some of his own blue cheese dressing into the mix.

Neil let out a low moan as he gagged himself with the fourth wing, the final one. He made a mental note to buy the eight wing set next time, but now wasn’t the time for that. It was the time for action, sweet passion as he groaned around the chicken wing like a porn star around a sturdy, solid member. He felt the sauce continue to enter his dick, his body becoming one with the buffalo, the warmth that got him through cold nights like these. Only now, he knew how to survive them.

Soon, his heated balls grew heavy, inflamed from both the spicy peppers and the potential UTI. His shaft was boiling within his sauce-covered hands, pumping at his dick like he was lubing up a dildo. Neil felt his eyes roll back into his head, drool freely running down his lips, now stained from the saucy chicken wing gag.

At the last moment, Neil Breen removed the chicken wing and held it below his cock like a bucket below heavy and ready cow utters. And like said utters, he was ready and he came with the force of a thousand angels crying tears of buffalo sauce, his body shaking from the might of his orgasm.

He willed his eyes to open, to see the sculpture of his own creation, the pleasure birthed from his own two hands.

It was perfect, and Neil’s mouth watered further as he slowly took a saucy bite.

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to my dear friend aardvark_french


End file.
